Hanging on the telephone

I thought I'd give the CSA a ring this afternoon to see what was happening with the case. Only problem was, I didn't know the number for the CSA Belfast office. I googled for it and after trawling through a couple of pages found a likely looking number, so I rang it.

"Your call is being held in a queue - please hold on"

Oh, great. I drummed my fingers for a while and read some newsgroups, and after ten minutes I got through to a real person.

"Can I take your reference number, please?"

I told him that I didn't have a reference number, and could I please speak to Simon who called me the other day. Presumably there is only one Simon working for the CSA, or he is well known in CSA call center circles, as he hadn't told me his surname.

"I can't do that I'm afraid. Can I take your National Insurance number and I'll try to look up your case with that"

I duly told him, and after a while the case came up on the screen as being closed.

"Are you sure?" I asked him, resisting the temptation to add "Cos it'll be a right kerfuffle if you've got the wrong one". Of course, after a little detective work it turns out that he was looking at the original case on the old system which was closed six years ago.

"You've come through to the wrong department", he told me, "Where did you get this number from - you want the CS2 new client team".

"I didn't realize there was a difference - it was the only number I could find. Can't you transfer me?"

You could almost hear him sigh and mouth the words "Computer says no". How could a sophisticated, high tech call center be expected to transfer a call from one department to another? I'd be asking for the moon on a stick next.

So, I had another number to call.

This one sounded a bit different. The automated voice wasn't Irish for a start and there was a convoluted sequence of button presses including star keys, hashes, button 1 to confirm, my NI number, date of birth, shoe size and inside leg measurement to prove my identity.

Hopefully, I thought, they'll get me through to the right place straight away. No such luck.

"You are being held in a queue"

Seventeen minutes later, and I get through to somebody who looks up my case, and obviously has got the original details again and is about to direct me back to the first department.

"No, it's a new case - I just wanted to check if you had heard anything from the Sheffield benefit office yet? I really don't want to have to fill in a Maintenance Enquiry Form when I don't have to seeing as I am not a Non Resident Parent"

He says that I need to ring the local benefit office again to see what they are doing, so I do so.

Only a four minute wait this time (hurrah for the Sheffield benefit office!) and the nice young man agrees to phone the CSA to let them know that there shouldn't be a case, and let me know in writing when he has done so.

Why do I get the sinking feeling that this is going to be an ongoing saga?